My Graduation

I had my official graduation ceremony this morning. I’ve been finished school for almost two months now so it was a little weird to go back to school. The ceremony itself was a little bit anticlimactic and impersonal. I handed a card to the speaker who read off my name and then I walked across stage and shook some hands. 30 seconds later it was over. I don’t know exactly what I was expecting but I knew I had to go just for the pictures. It was really interesting to see who was graduating with what degrees. You could tell who some of the fashion design graduates were by their style. The theatre graduates made the most noise as they crossed the stage. After the ceremony, my dad brought my girls to the campus. I wasn’t going to make them sit through 2 hours or a boring convocation, more importantly I wasn’t going to make my husband try to keep two kids quiet for two hours.

We can’t even get them to sit still for 2 minutes for pictures.

I didn’t look at any of the pictures that were being taken and now I’m so mad at myself for not checking. I knew my flash was turned off and I asked if the person taking the pictures if they were getting good shots. They said they were but once I checked them at home I was so disappointed to see that there were shadows across my eyes in most photos. It was really sunny which isn’t great for photos.

I was feeling pretty good about my dean’s list standing and outstanding achievement designation until they announced the Excellence Award winner. A fellow mother with a GPA over 4.00. I didn’t even know you could do that. She had kids soon after finishing high school and then returned to school when they were a little older. She talked about how she had to find herself first and how it made her really appreciate her education. I tried to do it all at once though. I wasn’t going to let babies stop me from finishing school. I needed to prove that an unplanned pregnancy wasn’t going to ruin my life. So I did it. I’ve spent the last 5 years in school while having 2 babies. I’m glad I did it but I know that I wasn’t able to completely dedicate myself to school or to being a mom. Schoolwork kept me up late and made me a cranky mom sometimes, being a breastfeeding mother made me rush home after every class instead of getting to know fellow students or my teachers. Now I’ve got a piece of parchment in hand and will be trying to figure out what to do with it. I know I’ll go to school again at some point. I love learning, it’s the assignments, papers and exams I could do without. I hope I’ve inspired my girls to go to university one day, they already have the hat.

I’m finished school- now what?

I took my last exam this morning. I really wish I had been more prepared for it. I have an unfortunate combination of procrastination and perfectionism that led me to put off studying and then try to spend the entire night before the exam studying. This was also the night that my little angel decided to wake up 5 times when she normally sleeps through the night. That took up a lot of time and I kept falling asleep on the couch. I had my alarm clock on my phone set to keep getting me up but eventually sometime in the middle of the night I fell asleep. I woke up 40 minutes before my exam started and panicked. I quickly fed Sweet Pea and got the girls dressed. My mom picked them up and after quickly reveiwing my notes I headed off to school. There were some things I didn’t know on the exam but for the most part I could write down an answer. I normally am way more prepared but my procrastination caught up with me. You would think that after 5 years of school I would have learned not to procrastinate!

But it’s over now, I might not get my desired A but I should still do ok and will certainly pass which is all that really matters for the degree.

I’m really not sure what I’m going to do now. I don’t want to start working right away. I would like like some time to just be a mom and see what life is like when I’m not completely sleep-deprived. At some point, I hope to find a fabulous, flexible and well-paying part-time career that is located close to me. Since I’ll have 2 kids in daycare, the money has to be worth it for me to work. Luckily, I have the luxury of not needing to find a career immediately thanks to my husband’s full-time job and my current part-time job.

I probably will take more schooling down the road but first I need to get some work experience and figure out my career path.

For years, I’ve been concentrating on taking the classes required to obtain my degree and now I have the chance to explore a wide variety of careers and opportunities. I’m excited for what the future holds for me and my family.

Studying For My Last Exam

Today I am studying today for my last exam ever!! Well of my bachelor’s degree at least, I’m sure I’ll go back to school for something someday. I don’t know how much studying I’m going to get done during the day with the kids running around but I’m going to have to cram tonight and hopefully get a few hours of sleep before the exam.

I’ve been done all my classes for over a week so I’ve been relaxing and now have to force myself back into student mode. I can’t wait for this to be done and then I can concentrate on the rest of my life. I’m excited for what the future holds.

Life After School

This week I had the last class of my undergraduate degree. I still have an exam coming up but I feel done already. It’s such an amazing feeling that after five years with two kids in the last three years I am a graduate. Yet the day after my last class I felt a little lost. Being a student was a large part of my identity. When people asked me what I was up to I rattled off my list, “Well I have two little girls and I’m in school. Oh and I work part-time.” Now people inevitably ask me what I’m going to do now that I have a degree. The problem is that I don’t know. I did not plan on having kids so young and was prepared to spend ten years in school pursuing a graduate degree in psychology. Now my priorities have shifted. I’m not willing to be a crazy stressed-out mama for so long. Although I may have looked like supermom on the outside, I struggled to do it all. I stayed up late every night reading and doing homework. I can’t tell you how many times I fell asleep on the couch while trying to get through a textbook. Being that tired made me a grumpy mom some mornings and I didn’t have time to go on many play-dates or do other fun things with the kids. I was doing so much and feeling like I could not give 100% to anything. My poor husband suffered the most since his needs were not as urgent as a crying baby or a looming project deadline. I already look back on it and wonder how I managed to get it all done. So while I am so glad to be done I’m not sure what I’m going to do now.

My professor said something interesting during that last class. After he finished his PH.D he almost became clinically depressed since had completed his goal and had nothing to work towards. He said the pursuit of goals makes life meaningful not the actual achievement of them. So some goals should be unattainable or just within reach. Better yet, they are goals that you continually have to work at such as being healthy. With that in mind, I need to set some new goals for my life. I want to develop skills that will help me in life and learn things that make me a better person, mom and wife.

My list (in no particular order)
· Eat healthier
· Exercise and get in shape
· Be a better wife
· Learn more about html and blogging
· Learn how to effectively discipline and raise toddlers
· Read books other than textbooks
· Read books more often to my kids
· Potty-train my toddler
· Keep a clean and tidy house (This really is a never-ending goal)

These are goals and now I need to make a plan to achieve these goals. I am writing them down so I can remember and be held accountable. Later, I’ll look back at these goals and see which ones I’ve accomplished.

What are your goals for the future?